Talking to your family about your will
Bringing up the topic of death with your loved ones may not be easy, but no matter how awkward, uncomfortable or upsetting it may be, planning for life after death with your family might be one of the most important things you do, both for your peace of mind and their long-term security.
Whether you’re planning to approach the topic with your children, parents, partner or even a sibling, this guide will help you to explain your plans to your loved ones without opening up the floor to arguments and upset.
Why it’s good to talk about your plans
Family relationships can be delicate at the best of times and conversations surrounding wills, estates and inheritance can easily be a cause for dispute during a difficult period of mourning.
And while discussing the plans for your estate in advance might not ease the pain of your passing, it can certainly help to avoid any quarrelling caused by the decisions you made prior to death.
Writing a will is not just a case of deciding who gets what. You’ll make important decisions such as who you’d like to act as the executor of your will, whose responsibility it is to ensure everything is in place before distributing your assets accordingly, as well as what steps you’d like to take to minimise the amount of Inheritance Tax that’ll be owed on your estate.
These are big decisions and, while they are yours to make, it can be beneficial both to you and your loved ones to at least make your wishes known – if you’re struggling to deal with the idea yourself, they’ll hopefully be able to help you through with their own points of view.
Preparing for ‘the talk’
Before talking to your family, there are a few things that you can do yourself beforehand to help make the dreaded conversation flow smoothly.
Take some time to yourself to think, jot down a few notes and come up with an agenda outlining what you’d like to discuss. When planning your talk, ask yourself the following questions:
What are your goals?
What legacy would you like your will to leave? Whether you want to provide financial security for a child by paying off their mortgage, covering the cost of education for your grandchildren or even leaving a sum of money to a local charity or shelter, you should have a clear idea in your mind as to how you would like your wealth to be utilised and distributed amongst loved ones.
Have you missed anything out?
Accounting for all of your assets when writing a will isn’t always easy, particularly if you’re lucky enough to hold a large estate. Making notes of your valuable assets is a great way to ensure that nothing is missed – this is yet another aspect of will-writing which your family could help with. One commonly used method is to list your significant assets in descending order, starting from the most valuable. Tangible assets like property, vehicles and land should all be considered, as well as intangible assets like life insurance payouts.
Have you written a draft?
Writing a draft of your will can help you to think more about your choices and why you’re making them. Not only this, but once you’ve got fair reason behind your decisions, it’ll make it a lot easier to explain to them if somebody disagrees.
Is it the right time to talk?
It goes without saying that talking about your post-death wishes at a birthday party or over Christmas dinner might kill the mood a little, so be sensitive as to when you decide to bring up the topic. Schedule a suitable time to sit down and talk – not only will these prevent any negative reactions that may come from the shock of such a sensitive topic, but it’ll also give your loved ones the chance to think.
During the conversation
You’ve planned what you’re going to say, but where do you start with such a delicate and complicated matter? Here are a few tips to help you navigate the conversation.
Be tactful
No matter how hard you try, pleasing everybody when writing a will can be a difficult task. Inheritance is a particularly sensitive topic and can easily spark arguments if not approached with caution. If there are any potentially controversial aspects to your wishes, such as leaving somebody out of the will or donating a large sum of money to charity, be sure to tread carefully.
Explain why you’ve decided to write a will
The truth is, there comes a time when everybody should consider writing a will, but explaining why you’ve decided that now is the right time can help to ease any concerns. You may have experienced a recent health scare, seen an advert on social media or even been influenced by the plot of a TV drama. Whatever your reason, this is a good way to kick off your conversation.
Give reasons behind your choices
You’ve probably got a few specific wishes that you’d like to be carried out after your death, but it’s a good idea to explain them before getting into the nitty-gritty of the money involved. Explain the logic behind your decisions and why you believe they are the correct ones to make. Make sure you go into enough detail so that any affected loved ones fully understand the reasoning behind your choices.
Ask for suggestions
Nobody is allowed to manipulate you into making changes to your will, but there’s certainly no harm in asking for suggestions. Some members of your family may be grateful to receive a token gift as part of their inheritance, such as a piece of jewellery or clothing.
Remember that your will isn’t final
Changes can (and should) be made to a will whenever there is reason to do so, meaning that the decisions you make today can be subject to change. For example, if one of your beneficiaries passes away before you, another child is born into the family or there are significant changes to your estate, changes can be made to your will to accommodate these circumstances.
Afterwards
Discussing your last will and testament with loved ones is a good start, but now you need to put that discussion (and your own choices) into a legally binding document.
Once you’re sure that you’ve covered all grounds, you can begin the official process of writing a will. This can be done with the use of a DIY will kit however this is not recommended – there are regular cases of DIY wills that have forgone important details, making them invalid in the eyes of the law.
It is for this reason that you should consider seeking expert help from experienced professionals like those here at Quick Wills.
Quick Wills – Your expert will-writing service
The experienced professionals at Quick Wills can help you through the entire process of writing a will, offering tailored advice from start to finish.
Whether you’re looking to write some larger assets into a trust or manage the intricacies of your estate, Quick Wills are on hand to help you along the way.